For The Consideration Of Bobby

Bobby says they treat him well
“Considering,” he must confess
He asks if he can bum a smoke
Then languidly begins to dress

Bobby says that there’s a path
Behind the old infirmary
He sometimes walks to be alone
Where silence is a luxury

We squat beside the water’s edge
He looks so fragile sitting there
His hair a rat’s nest thick as wool
His vacant face so beautiful

“It’s awfully considerate ... your visit I mean”
He whispers distracted by something unseen
And aside from his saucer-sized cinders for eyes
The tea party’s presence is hard(i)ly recognized

Bobby says they colonize
Beneath the surface scabs of skin
The medication wards them off
But then they just come back again

And if we just sit still a while
It might just help to calm the ticks
And if the lights could be turned down
That might just trick what makes him sick

The screams cordoned by rows of pines
Send frozen shivers down my spine
But Bobby doesn’t seem to mind
He dips his feet in pools of time

“It’s awfully considerate ... you bringing me here”
He mutters – to whom is not totally clear
And I watch as his thoughts gradually gravitate
Toward the dusk of sunk sunset’s sedate slumbered wake

Onward toward the piper’s laughter, onward toward the feast deranged
To dance the waltz of Arnold Layne, to join the genius gone insane
The lonely traveled wastelands roamed, the mental halls like catacombs
To ultimately be alone, the lights are on but no one’s home

Bobby says he’s gone beyond
Beyond the boundless windswept seas
Beyond the endless roads to nowhere
Beyond the fields of Athenry

The breeze of autumn brisk upon us
Bobby stares up at the sky
Entranced by cosmic lullabies
Crooned by the ghosts of ancient lives

And low the melic azure melt spells
Pulsate through the coursing tides
They give birth to the dark hyenas
Who howl for haunted souls to shine

“It’s awfully considerate ... inviting the stars”
He awes pointing out constellations afar
“And there’s Venus,” I say, but he doesn’t agree
He explains that “it’s Noth”, home of his ancestry

The distance of his empty gaze
Lost in a schizophrenic haze
Dark angel clipped of wings once vibrant
Now grounded down by flights abeyant

Then Bobby looks me in the eye
Face filled with fear to my surprise
“Where am I?!?” steals his panicked cry
I’m forced to take him back inside

And as he takes his slippers off
I place the pills near his bedside
He climbs secure beneath the sheets
Then takes a drink and starts to sink

“It’s awfully considerate ... you tucking me in”
He murmurs sedately in a tone worn and thin
“Sleep tight, prince,” I whisper through soft tears that stream
“Your journey’s now over; it was all just a dream.”

The Best Mistake Of My Life

Stalled beyond the mist of error lies a common mean
A past that tends to haunt me in the darkest of my dreams
Reduced me to a candle flicker of my former self
And left me with no lasting earthly wealth

A twist of fate confined within a cell of hopeless thought
The bars that steal the dreams of men and render them for naught
The miserable calamity of my incarceration
Proved to be the soul of my salvation

The ins and outs and ups and downs have taught me many things
Provided me the strength to brave the storms that trials bring
I’m thankful for the years of angry bitterness and strife
‘Cause in the end they only help me make
The best mistake of my life

I’ve battled with the bottle and the fists of other men
Bore witness to the hellish fury of a scorned woman
I bear the scars of railroad tires upon a lonely track
And know that broken hearts start with a crack

The mood of my emotion all but hides the hand that binds
Let go of consequential thoughts that long have plagued my mind
I came to the conclusion that I’d better start by trying
Get busy living or get busy dying

The ins and outs and ups and downs have taught me many things
Provided me the strength to brave the storms that trials bring
I’m thankful for the years of angry bitterness and strife
‘Cause in the end they only help me make
The best mistake of my life

The music of nostalgia floats upon the winds of change
And blows a past of blame I wish that I could rearrange
But if regret meant I would have to disregard the facts
I don’t think I would take a single back

Every wrong decision I’ve made had the quality
Of making me the humble man that I was meant to be
I’ve seen the vast expanse of nothingness through these pale eyes
And in the end I’ve come to realize

The ins and outs and ups and downs have taught me many things
Provided me the strength to brave the storms that trials bring
I’m thankful for the years of angry bitterness and strife
‘Cause in the end they only help me make
The best mistake of my life.

If I

If I could live just one day
I'd live that day for you
And with the air my lungs took in
I'd sing a farewell tune
How life and love had crippled me
How precious you turned out to be
How words and friends had left me broken
And how they got the best of me

And if I lived just one day
Maybe I would say that summer steals
And then go on to say that maybe
Life is a dream, and dreams can't heal
And if I knew that this would be
The last time I could be with you
My touch would speak in velvet ripples
Savoring our last adieu

And when the time between us exhales
Leaving me to join the wind
If I can pass you as a warm breeze
Think of me and smile again
If I had one gift to give you
Let it be my poetry
The greatest gift I have to offer
Reveals perfected anarchy

If I could lead, I'd lead you free
If you would follow, I'd proceed
Guiding you through revelry
To where I stay when skies turn grey
If that's the way then way be paved
We're gone for better yesterdays
Upon the lies, a hide of eyes
Angelic anthem recognized

If I could die, I'd die tonight
And take from ground like birds to flight
Carees me down behind the light
And tell me it will be alright
If I, if I, I know we tried
That much I know before our time
My face left bruised by something loose
In streets and backseat romance.

Damaged

Yesterday's so far away
I can't diguise my fatal ways
In all I do, in all I say
My kiss is bitter with cocaine

Each time is different, each time the same
And it never stops and you go insane
And it speaks and I'm sorry you can't understand
Simple splendors - delightful, demonic - entranced

What once petrified me, were grisly discoveries
What once were pure concepts, are now beastial experiments
What lacked common sense was made up for in dance
Where my feet floated free in a postmortem trance

Further from you could be gummed up and chewed
Wouldn't dying in mystery be fun?
Dum diddy diddy dum dum.

Ode To The Dawn

Lies, all lies!
Ushas, where's your shine?
I love to run within your walls
Until the noon sunrise

Carry me through to the bounds of your laughter
And wallow your way to the heights of the moon
Kidnap me from the grasp darkness is sweeping
And wake me again when your rays expel doom

(Swift me off gently and whisper the seasons)

The kiss your lips drip shell the dawn's dew in honey
And the warmth you possess still possesses again
But what of the time when we meet on grounds no more?
I'll be at your side then, forever the end.

Searching For A Haystack In A Needle Factory

Let’s split a hit and coin a dream
Ignore what foghorned warnings ring
When sights are smelt and sounds are seen
And vibrant star-plucked colours scream

Ride madcapped waves on punch drunk seas
Shanghai the blood moon mean of meaning
The wretched boats that cease to sing
And plunder what tomorrow brings

Hoist high the flag ‘poete maudit’
And set no course for destiny
The compass spins bewilderedly
And points out possiblunderings

Let us the deep consume our shame
Spit mutiny upon our blame
Agree that we no more shall weep
Nor lay beside our graves and sleep

Decide that God made sailors plenty
But not a lot of sailors ready
To crush their castles made of sand
No longer strong enough to stand

So lift the anchor! Mend the seams! And stoke the coals that burn intensely
The installation of constellations above us shine with chance extreme
Embrace our dreams blown back by breezes, the nakedness that never leaves us
Cast our nets and troll our lines, fill vast our vats, turn water wine

Erase our past and pull the cork
To flood the floors of our befores
We’ll sail for ports that have no shores
And sever our tenacious moors

With brand new eyes and new disguises
We’ll let the dead weight catch the flieses
The one wise fact we realise is
The sun is darkest ‘for it rises

Along the black lugubrious swell
Our secrets shared – we’ll never tell
So hem the mast the storms have quelled
Rebury treasures mermaids held

The Northern Star so near, so far
Shone bright like fireflies in a jar
Sits silent, silhouetted high
The low-lined clouds ‘neath midnight sky

From crow’s nest view it all seems staged
Like Skane scene painted picture pages
So patiently the ghosts interred
Wait to escape ol’ Davey’s locker

Then suddenly within the helm come forth the rings from warning bells
“Abandon ship!” the captain yells - we tell him he can go to hell
Our lives were forged upon this sea and so this sea shall set us free
Man overboard! Infinity! Cold kiss my mistress darkness.

The Secular Tragedy

This mental illness brings me closer to my Savior’s rotting will
Each time I sink more than prescribed I feel alive & born again
The more I sip the dark red sea the more the sorrows drown beyond me
The numb divide is heavenly, it vindicates the typecast serpent
Behold! The putrid stench of Holy Ghost aroma fills the air
It saturates the flowers bloomed, I watch them wilt w/in my hand
Then toss them in a garbage can where once I would have tended them
Never again utter ‘amen’ until my soul finally ascends
Amends for every misappropriation fashioned by my sinful need
For all things manifest in seeds of darkness sewn by ravens’ beaks
Black rose mystique, the thorn that pricks me deeper than my scars will tell
Though not the brightest pedal found, I wear my colors well

Shall I fear Hell? Hell no! I shall not dread the things I cannot see
Nor can believe when hell on earth is all I can perceive
Tormented by infernal demons, the sun descends behind the hill
Sits silenced like a mute clairvoyant cannot tell the future’s will
The hoof now splits the Acheron sky, the ferry docks, Kharon I cannot spy
For naulum shades my eyes, the hundred-handed scratch me blind
They pull me from the Chinvat Bridge & drag me into druj-demana’s
Gnashing teeth & windless fury, is there no comfort to be found?
The worm w/in me will not die, privation now immortalized
I stand castrated from the congregation sitting high above me
I can see them sway in waves of righteous pity, curse the way I’ve misbehaved
W/ fallen angels raised from ashes impudent & unrepentant
Lusting after kingdoms Shed, the skies of Horus, the storms are Set

All ye who enter here beware – there will be woe among the lost, abandoned hope
Nine circles sweeping tear the damned mind from its thoughts, the head plays dead
The rabid dogs resume to feasting ripping limbs from tender flesh
While underworldly lords assume their thrones in cursed blasphemy
Possess w/ scheming creeds of wicked wrath wrapped taut in suffering
The Dark One promised me the things he could not give – a lasting peace
The swollen scabs of sacrificial boils now burst in tragedy
Like letters from the earth I search in vain for my Persephone
To save me from the bitter sting of Satan’s fiery company
I writhe in blistered agony as does the thirteenth key in doorways
Locked w/ chains of agonizing punishment & feigned deceit
The gate doth open to a world where astrologic chants proceed to recreate
A magik cult of equinoxed insanity inserted in the vein of ancient, ritualled depravity
Carved from the ivory-pillared horns of churches built on sacrilege
Where whispered oaths of psychic spells evoke excruciating hells

I spiral down eternally forsaken by my careless doubt
No drop of water for my tongue whereby my condemned lips can shout
Redemption granted if my soul can purify itself throughout
But my strayed pen cannot abide (therefore these tribulations mount)
So I in turn must find salvation in the pen w/ faith devout
& summon my escape from pain by writing my way out.

. . . That Dictate Otherwise

I wanna ask for one more hit
Just one fix before I go
This must be how it feels to pray
To clip the wings of turtledoves
The need for dips that dive too far
Too far to ever re-emerge
To contemplate life’s canvas drab
And fade from suns that shine too bright
The epitaphs discovered scrawled
On paper bags that curse the dawn
To ride the rails of secrets lost
Magnetic tracks that pull me home
Where blistered lips wait tenderly
To tuck me in with broken whispers
Sympathetic lies where vanish
All my cares ‘neath sunken moons
Don’t rouse me, I’m still dreaming hopes
That when I wake shall disappear
It’s only for a fleeting spell
They grace me with their company
And oh! If I could capture them
And place them in a swimming pool
I’d watch them float in swirls of faith
Then drowned in tides of melancholy
Swollen waves that crash beyond
The fated break of no return
Suppressed to hide the hint of howling
Nightmares that won’t leave me lone
The fortunes falling through the holes
Of holy pockets ripped at seams
It seems the only hole that’s left
Has swallowed whole my whole belief
Has torn the ghosts of prospects past
Has left me drained of promises
Now soundly sleep the vacant streets
So softly sung their lullabies
That soothe the souls of those who grieve
And force a grown man to his knees
Goodnight thine everlasting sting, goodnight.