Searching For A Haystack In A Needle Factory

Let’s split a hit and coin a dream
Ignore what foghorned warnings ring
When sights are smelt and sounds are seen
And vibrant star-plucked colours scream

Ride madcapped waves on punch drunk seas
Shanghai the blood moon mean of meaning
The wretched boats that cease to sing
And plunder what tomorrow brings

Hoist high the flag ‘poete maudit’
And set no course for destiny
The compass spins bewilderedly
And points out possiblunderings

Let us the deep consume our shame
Spit mutiny upon our blame
Agree that we no more shall weep
Nor lay beside our graves and sleep

Decide that God made sailors plenty
But not a lot of sailors ready
To crush their castles made of sand
No longer strong enough to stand

So lift the anchor! Mend the seams! And stoke the coals that burn intensely
The installation of constellations above us shine with chance extreme
Embrace our dreams blown back by breezes, the nakedness that never leaves us
Cast our nets and troll our lines, fill vast our vats, turn water wine

Erase our past and pull the cork
To flood the floors of our befores
We’ll sail for ports that have no shores
And sever our tenacious moors

With brand new eyes and new disguises
We’ll let the dead weight catch the flieses
The one wise fact we realise is
The sun is darkest ‘for it rises

Along the black lugubrious swell
Our secrets shared – we’ll never tell
So hem the mast the storms have quelled
Rebury treasures mermaids held

The Northern Star so near, so far
Shone bright like fireflies in a jar
Sits silent, silhouetted high
The low-lined clouds ‘neath midnight sky

From crow’s nest view it all seems staged
Like Skane scene painted picture pages
So patiently the ghosts interred
Wait to escape ol’ Davey’s locker

Then suddenly within the helm come forth the rings from warning bells
“Abandon ship!” the captain yells - we tell him he can go to hell
Our lives were forged upon this sea and so this sea shall set us free
Man overboard! Infinity! Cold kiss my mistress darkness.

The Secular Tragedy

This mental illness brings me closer to my Savior’s rotting will
Each time I sink more than prescribed I feel alive & born again
The more I sip the dark red sea the more the sorrows drown beyond me
The numb divide is heavenly, it vindicates the typecast serpent
Behold! The putrid stench of Holy Ghost aroma fills the air
It saturates the flowers bloomed, I watch them wilt w/in my hand
Then toss them in a garbage can where once I would have tended them
Never again utter ‘amen’ until my soul finally ascends
Amends for every misappropriation fashioned by my sinful need
For all things manifest in seeds of darkness sewn by ravens’ beaks
Black rose mystique, the thorn that pricks me deeper than my scars will tell
Though not the brightest pedal found, I wear my colors well

Shall I fear Hell? Hell no! I shall not dread the things I cannot see
Nor can believe when hell on earth is all I can perceive
Tormented by infernal demons, the sun descends behind the hill
Sits silenced like a mute clairvoyant cannot tell the future’s will
The hoof now splits the Acheron sky, the ferry docks, Kharon I cannot spy
For naulum shades my eyes, the hundred-handed scratch me blind
They pull me from the Chinvat Bridge & drag me into druj-demana’s
Gnashing teeth & windless fury, is there no comfort to be found?
The worm w/in me will not die, privation now immortalized
I stand castrated from the congregation sitting high above me
I can see them sway in waves of righteous pity, curse the way I’ve misbehaved
W/ fallen angels raised from ashes impudent & unrepentant
Lusting after kingdoms Shed, the skies of Horus, the storms are Set

All ye who enter here beware – there will be woe among the lost, abandoned hope
Nine circles sweeping tear the damned mind from its thoughts, the head plays dead
The rabid dogs resume to feasting ripping limbs from tender flesh
While underworldly lords assume their thrones in cursed blasphemy
Possess w/ scheming creeds of wicked wrath wrapped taut in suffering
The Dark One promised me the things he could not give – a lasting peace
The swollen scabs of sacrificial boils now burst in tragedy
Like letters from the earth I search in vain for my Persephone
To save me from the bitter sting of Satan’s fiery company
I writhe in blistered agony as does the thirteenth key in doorways
Locked w/ chains of agonizing punishment & feigned deceit
The gate doth open to a world where astrologic chants proceed to recreate
A magik cult of equinoxed insanity inserted in the vein of ancient, ritualled depravity
Carved from the ivory-pillared horns of churches built on sacrilege
Where whispered oaths of psychic spells evoke excruciating hells

I spiral down eternally forsaken by my careless doubt
No drop of water for my tongue whereby my condemned lips can shout
Redemption granted if my soul can purify itself throughout
But my strayed pen cannot abide (therefore these tribulations mount)
So I in turn must find salvation in the pen w/ faith devout
& summon my escape from pain by writing my way out.

. . . That Dictate Otherwise

I wanna ask for one more hit
Just one fix before I go
This must be how it feels to pray
To clip the wings of turtledoves
The need for dips that dive too far
Too far to ever re-emerge
To contemplate life’s canvas drab
And fade from suns that shine too bright
The epitaphs discovered scrawled
On paper bags that curse the dawn
To ride the rails of secrets lost
Magnetic tracks that pull me home
Where blistered lips wait tenderly
To tuck me in with broken whispers
Sympathetic lies where vanish
All my cares ‘neath sunken moons
Don’t rouse me, I’m still dreaming hopes
That when I wake shall disappear
It’s only for a fleeting spell
They grace me with their company
And oh! If I could capture them
And place them in a swimming pool
I’d watch them float in swirls of faith
Then drowned in tides of melancholy
Swollen waves that crash beyond
The fated break of no return
Suppressed to hide the hint of howling
Nightmares that won’t leave me lone
The fortunes falling through the holes
Of holy pockets ripped at seams
It seems the only hole that’s left
Has swallowed whole my whole belief
Has torn the ghosts of prospects past
Has left me drained of promises
Now soundly sleep the vacant streets
So softly sung their lullabies
That soothe the souls of those who grieve
And force a grown man to his knees
Goodnight thine everlasting sting, goodnight.

The Long Goodbye

Home is where you lay your head
I think I heard a wise man said
But what’d he know? He died alone
A minstrel lost in time
And took with him his poet dreams
Now who will teach the world to sing?
The heart grows fonder, what’s that mean?
The distance coldly screams

I guess I should be moving on
Just one more kiss and I’ll be gone
Try not to curse the universe
It never solved a thing
It’s getting late, I’d better go
I hate to leave oh I hope you know
And please don’t claim you told me so
When we have to say goodbye

Another train, some other town
The neon lights and the city sounds
It’s all the same just another thing
Keeping me from you
This loneliness can kill a man
I feel the blade of Abraham
Pressed to my throat as I take the stand
With weary Isaac eyes

Memories are such a drag
I take a sip from the paper bag
Forgetting comes at such a price
Save it for the afterlife because
I don’t want to forget you
Now what’s a poor boy left to do?
Don’t want to hear the reasons why
‘Cause I don’t want to say goodbye

I’ve come up short so many times
Now all that’s left are these empty rhymes
It's not the way it’s supposed to be
Yet somehow seems to comfort me
And in the end the love you knew
Was just a sad song to get you through
I'll see you on the other side
The river wide we fondly call goodbye.

Something Prevents Me

Something prevents me from gaining my fortune
Expensive attempts to escape on the town
Those evenings when all was decided bodegas
Could solve life’s dilemmas served cold in the doldums

Something prevents me remembering fully
That my time is enshrined in a snow globe of Xanadu
Sledding down hillsides where rosebuds collide
Inducing the scent of my pantomimed fears

Something prevents me from trusting entirely
Faith-plucked are mine eyes wailing blood river tears
While the wise men stride peacefully pacing their mountaintops
Watching high from above the ants scurrying senselessly

Or the girl who once claimed my virginity dying
How I knew that she would not stay buried for long
Rose again three days later to say it was over
I told her to cry wolf whenever she wanted

Something prevents me from learning my lesson
Embalmed are my silly, fastidious ways
Like the sparks of flint frenzy flick forth rot bukakke
I’m devilishly dim-witted with nothing to say

Something prevents me acquiring freedom
Intolerable role play that binds me in chains
My disheveled mask boasting bloated illusion
Veils the fact I’m no more than a misguided slave

Something prevents me from finding forever
It comes only once and is suddenly gone
Exceeds conscious dimensions and then on toward oblivion
Blazing Forward & Backward & Sideways in flames

Euclidean planes stretching further (En) further
Until all is lost ‘tween the vectors beyond
Affine transformation of faith and of reason
Carries critical mass though there’s no explanation

Something prevents me reclaiming my mind frame
Try not comprehending, there is nothing there
Goddammit! There’s no plan! No final solution!
Only maddening Holocaust dreams of despair

Some vaudoux conspires to prevent my release
From the shackles I’d come to carve during my life
Let my ti-bon-ange find its Parinirvana
Written down in the pages of Bardo Thödol

Yet some past life prevents me from entering paradise
Forced passed the charade gates, turned loose once inside
Where the Nazi three-ringed act of pine ripe skull pestilence
Wholly douses my sense in complete iridescence

Blisters bursting now drown me in pustuous rebirth
Angry horn sounds, surround the town, tear its walls down
Draw the sword of attrition and slay Babylon’s Harlot
Till her scarlet menstruation reaps the spilled virgin ground

Something prevents me discovering Saigon
A cog in the wheel - proletarian man
But the theory sits marred by an act of Uniqueness
Take one cog away and the wheel will still stand

Something prevents me from casting my lot
Though I’ve got quite a lot of support recently
Rip the robes of my piety swift with expulsion
Exposing my flesh to the crucified air

Something prevents me from seeking conviction
The gun smoking in my mouth can’t prove a damn thing
I was there when the innocence finally departed
Sentenced me to damnation bereft clemency

In these hells I’ve laid claim! Just to prove my peculiarity!
Grotesque my bones immolate idiosyncratically
Though I no longer say prayers to save my condemned soul
My insanities translate through word alchemy

Something belies commercialized enterprise
It implies the world’s fine – what a super-sized lie!
Shall I turn a blind eye? Change the channel and hide?
Drowning innocent lives in a cupful of cola?

I see something’s not right, pleading faces in need
By the hand of my own greed they die everyday
Massacring starved babies with the broadsword of ignorance
By pretending fine wine is by far more important

Still something tells me - breathe a bit more naïve
Throw aside useless guilt and wash poverty’s feet
Be ye kind, ye shall find the kingdom of the meek
But before I can hear I must learn not to speak

Listen closely! What folly! What verbal castration!
Such enfant terrible from supposed adult lips!
And what’s worse those cursed lips disperse re-hearsed redundancies
Lathered in snake oil, well-versed in hypocrisies

Something still lies in the bed that I’ve made
An imprint of a dying desire still remains
But the coffee pot’s cackle dismisses those wishes
Teasing me with its caf-fiend reminders of failure

Something I lost long ago again finds me
A knave once was I with no need for a cure
Now I know that no one can surrender completely
Made to bathe in depraved swamps & wash with whore spittle

Something prevents me authentically caring
Falsetto affection, ambitions debased
I tell my companions I covet their friendship
When deep down inside I could give a shit less

And I beat on my chest until swollen with suffering
Crying “Let me abandon my blasphemous ways!”
Like a hen clucks her frantic farm-laid fascination
Begs the farmer to steal revealed yokes of her name

And so onward Odysseus, I draw up my anchor
Drink the waters of Lethe, sailing far distant shores
Navigate Scylla & Charybdis, forgetting my purpose
Because something prevents me and will evermore.

Sweet, Sad Existence (Kasper’s Parable)

Turn Tennyson West toward the pale afternoon
As the chimney sweep soot boots tap Taps in the ballroom
Connivary
Plasård
Cídone
All ants kiss gentle greetings

Sit worn in weird classroom chairs questioned too long
The hindsight soars skyward yet foresight is gone
We live, we die, we multiply - a billion years before our time
And growth denies what stains our lives
So as we seek we plunder

The great escape – St. Jeannet, France
A mountain nesting worth the chance
Sit perched above the jewels of Nice
Try counting countless blessings

Strut self-assured across the beach
On smooth-laid stones that break a stride
You falter forward – catch yourself
Continue toward the cool, blue tide
And speak to gods who fail to answer
Instead forced fed to face our cancer
In truth the pain of coming down
Is so much simpler than it seems

I’ve languished here 5,000 years
Five seconds more and I’ll be free
The clouds of light burst into flame
The hole expands and swallows me

In darkness split the sky divide
As all kept secrets span the plain
A rush of holy absinthe coursing
Through my veins of styled finesse

I’m so electric satisfaction
An alligator suit of red
I am the shark that swims beneath you
Searching seafloors for salvation

In my arm dug deep the daylight
Liquid Jesus neon ride
In ‘terra-eyes’ lie hidden truths
Begotten Son of Sovereign Sew

Lost Shepherd to cerebral thoughts:
‘You’re wandering further from the fold’
Cerebral thoughts to Shepherd’s Flock:
‘Cordoned in cosmos cellophane’

Space cowgirls grow up faces fast
I wish they’d take their time and stay
Propose to them with Saturn’s rings
‘Neath Enoch’s Zion-ed Milky Way

Consummate with chitter-chatter
Lost the faith, but what’s it matter?
Biting the seams of stitched rhinestone-lined dreams
Give me fashion and lust and a god I can trust

Intense isolation breeds infatuation
For artistic creation when the father held sway
But the father loves more than one ever could asked for
And now it’s that love that turns daughters away

Is it wrong to detect that our problems connect
To the fact that our souls have as yet to let go?
When it happens, you shutter and your heart starts to flutter
And you weep until Buddha revives your sweat head

And it’s good to be here, dare to dream – dream in fear
What’s regarded as nightmare can sometimes prove promising
Prose restrict tongues that have long been extinguished
Oh, this sweet sad existence is the essence of all things

And to be young – a poet, and to hear the tree fallen
Smell the soft embers burning as the flesh falls away
Cast the subtle wish upward toward the skies of Atlantis
O’er the sea crest Golightly in her stalwart jazz sway

And the kiss proof of toilet seats, the world slowly dying
It’s the hydrogen jukebox Prince Ginsberg dropped dime
It’s a mystical guru-fueled number of pleasantries
Found high on the mountaintops snow-capped in mystery

The mad ones to live, madder yet the mad season
Howl the idiot winds as the Cheshire cat grins
Don Quixote and Lancelot swapping distressed damsel stories
While Rapunzel and Stiltskin spin fair golden hair

Oh, this sweet sad existence breaks its stale bread with beggars
And the veterans of wars who have lost noble faith
In a system that breathes the grave sins of machines
See the woman malnourished give her breast milk to liberty
Oh she wants to pretend the suits passing her by cannot see her
She’s bruised and been crying for centuries
Pleading for someone to take her small orphans
And give them a hope that has long been expired

Petrified paper dolls hang like fruit on the poplar trees
The Jack of Spades chances the Queen of Heart’s glances
And with cards stacked against him makes his move with romances
The white dress she wears hides the lies she confesses
But what does Jack care? He’s the one the priest blesses
To take her and make her the queen of his schemes
So hold fear for ransom, the chains have been broken
You’re free from the sweet sad existence you’ve ruled
So far off your sweet head, take the gun and run screaming
Out into the street and shoot down the crowned fool.

Meteré Un Pepino En Tu Buzón

De donde eres? Cómo te llamas?
The answers lost in southern Spain
Begin in metro Malága
The taste of vino blanco stirs

An arid purr from mountains vast
We board the eastbound bus at last
Despacío through calle stretched
So gaunt along the turquoise sea

Then begin, at once, ascend
And leave behind big city trends
Invade Motril for just a spell
Enough to stretch our suntanned legs

Benaudalla - adios - careening more toward ‘muy bien’
Just then the driver reprimands a passenger sat back behind us
Who thought he’d take a chance and smoke a fag
Was caught and forced to flick

Mucho gusto, Orgiva
The long awaited intro seems
To bury me in wordless mounds
‘Ta amo’ - thus to thee I sing

Gracias dear Leon, Becks
Your way of life – an overture
Of all that was and now should be
What is to come and makes us free

La Alpujarra villages
Call distant cries in sheepish bleats
A strain of ear brings all things clear
The lull of hidden Pampaneira

Beat two track path through mountain pass
Arrive at Casa Heppenstall
An expat Brit-laid Numero 8
That overlooks Nevadas tall

(Uno mas) cervesa served
At El Pilon – sin tapas por favor
No more! Casa Julio/Diego
Fill guts to busting brim

Splash down the mighty El Molino
A Rio Poqueira wonder wall
Where rapids cut Barranco de Poqueira
Deep into the untouched landscape

Bubión - so quaint and clean
Could make one never want to leave
The merriment of costa seems
To drown in Berber influence

Nightfall paints surreal oasis; terrace chats give way to wine
My thoughts drift toward Mikhail Bakunin – an advocate for anarchism
Whose free ideals inspired the Andalucian people to regain themselves
Co-opting thus throughout the region, creating Spain’s first CNT

The days like headlights in the hills
They flash so bright then disappear
I find myself reciting childhood prayers
‘Dear God, if time, find time to use me’

So quiet, now my love asleep, as I sit by myself and dream
Don’t know where I in fact will be when ‘muerte’ finally comes to claim me
Her stealthy ways have always dominated how my future reads
I’ll have no fear, this one fact clear - I could see me dying here.